Now, more often than not, both parties will have limits, something that limits the types of plays that participants can engage in in a play scene. There are several types of limits.
1. Hard Limits
Hard limits is something that a participant absolutely will not do. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Common hard limits include scat or blood, but hard limits can also be very specific to the person. For example, if the submissive has an old injury in certain places, striking such a place can be a hard limit.
Hard limits is one of the most important things that Dominants and submissives should cover before engaging in a scene. I highly encourage Dominants and submissive to do health checks with each other before playing. Such communication should cover injuries, phobias, allergies, medications, psychological triggers and past traumas. Discussing these aspects before hand, builds trust between Dominant and submissives, which will greatly enhance both participants' experiences in the scene.
While a person's hard limits may change over time, hard limits should never be pushed by another. Period.
2. Soft Limits
Soft limits is something that a participant is hesitant about or has strict conditions on. In another word, they would do it, but it is not something they are comfortable to do. Often a certain amount of emotional factors such as fear or shame is associated with soft limits.
In my opinion, soft limits are meant to be pushed. However, to do so requires a certain degree of care and finesse. The participant need to be positively reframed with regards to the soft limit and be encouraged to try it with a safeword with the understanding that a scene will end if he or she cannot find it in themselves to do it. Understand even with positively reframing and encouragement, soft limit may not be broken within a single scene or two. All participants should be understanding of pushing soft limits and give one another space and time to try and try again.
3. Time Limits
Time limit is a set time period where an activity or temporary relationship takes place. This can be applied to a scene. For example, thirty minutes of sensory deprivation. It can also be applied to phases of relationship, such as training or consideration period.
In conclusion, it is important to learn other people's limits, to understand them, and most importantly, respect them. Limits are there for a reason to help all of us play safer.